“I can’t tell how many are coming out. None. None are coming out. (rattle, rattle) AHH! You have Tic Tacs all over the back of your car.”
Monthly Archives: February 2013
Pants
Today we have a ‘guest post’ if you will. In honour of my brother-in-law’s birthday, here is an excerpt of an email Dawn received from his wife one rainy day last year. Happy Birthday, Chris!
“So Chris calls from the church to see if I know where there might be extra pants kicking around? Really, extra pants kicking around the church? He says well it was raining more than I thought and my pants are soaked. So I took them off and have been walking around looking for pants that someone left behind but am afraid someone will catch me in my underwear. There are so many things wrong with that sentence! Pants that someone left behind? How about I took my pants off before I started walking around. Most normal people would take their pants off after they did their searching! Now I have a vision of him sitting behind his desk in only his underwear and someone coming in needing something!”
McWhat?
“The words ‘Thai’ and ‘Mc’ should never appear together.”
We’re talking you YOU, McDonald’s…
Facebrush
“I hate it when I miss my mouth. With my toothbrush.”
The gospel according to Vader
“I found out you can get the Bible read by James Earl Jones. Wouldn’t that be cool? He’d have to say ‘Luke’.”
It’s like deja vu all over again
“Have you ever had a deja vu of a deja vu?”
I think I’m having one right now, actually…
Perceptions
“Things seem longer with your eyes closed.”
Yes…. that’s what she said.
Grilled Cheese Sandwiches
“I’m having trouble with my spacial abilities.”
When trying to arrange pieces of cheese on a slice of bread for optimum cheese coverage.
Brain vs. Mouth
“That’s what I meant to say, but I left a couple words out.”
Walking is hard enough by itself
“Can’t talk, walking.”
Spoken while trying to navigate a snowy sidewalk in heels.
Bleep My Wife Says 