“I was trying to smell the smoke and a Cheeto fell out of my mouth.”
“What if your belly button was a portal to another world?”
“I’m even weirder in my dreams than I am in real life.”
“I may have farted right in that dog’s face.”
I thought it was just one of those dogs that had a naturally wrinkly face, but I guess not.
“You made me laugh and I burped at the same time…. I lurped.”
“I like how I think I’m sane when I say something and then you look at me like that and I think, oh, maybe I’m not…”
“I tickled myself until it got itchy.”
“I just wanted to talk like Gollum for a second there.”
I just had to mention spectrometers….
“Sometimes I get an itch that comes on so fast it’s like someone stabbed me with an itch pen. I don’t know what that means.”
“I just picked my cat’s nose.”
I hope you washed your hands afterwards…